Trying to be Better

*OK, This is my first blog about "life".  Wish me luck!*

Trying to be better.. that's what I'm doing.  I'm earnestly trying to be a better person, mother, and wife.  I made a goal a few days ago to begin writing in a journal every day.  I have always had a journal, but it would get written in every couple of months or so.  My mom is an amazing example to me.  She writes in her journal every single week.  she lent me her journals from when I was born up until I am about 3.  I have enjoyed reading them so much, and it got me to thinking that I want my children to have something like that to read about their childhood!  So I missed about the first year of Brenna's life, but I'm trying to backtrack as much as possible, and really that's not a good reason not to start at all!  

A day or two after I started that (I've done 4 days of journal writing now!  I'm on a roll!) I made another goal to keep a cleaner, and more organized home.  I have a confession.  I'm a slob.  I have a very hard time doing dishes right after I use them, or putting laundry away right after I fold it, or cleaning up Brenna's toys for the 10th time in one day... but I can do hard things!  At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I started reading a housekeeping/organization book, and I'm earnestly trying to do better.  I got off to a good start yesterday, and I am going to give it another go today!  Wish me luck!

Lastly, I am going to conquer my fear of "outside".  It sounds silly, and it probably is, but ever since we've lived in our home where we finally have a yard of our own, I have developed a slight phobia of our yard.  I don't know if it started when I realized it was infested with crickets, or if it was when I noticed our huge ant problem, of if it began when we were made aware of our scorpion issue, all I know is that it's there, and my daughter doesn't care.  She loves being outside for some reason!  I want to take her our, but as soon as she lifts up a rock I want to rush over and make sure there weren't any harmful bugs on it, and I can't sit down anywhere without my heart racing (oh yah, there's also the black widows that made a nest in our chairs last summer, now I'm afraid to sit on them "just in case" they're back and I can't see them).  Long story short, My daughter wants to play outside, and I want to let her, so I am going to BUCK UP.  At least I think I am.  First though, I'm going to take a whole bucket of bug killer and drench everything on our deck/patio...