So, the other day I went to the store, and came out feeling a little low on self esteem. I wonder if I'm the only person who has no backbone. Let me start by saying that I don't like pushy people because I know I have a hard time standing up for myself under that sort of pressure. Back when we first got married and we were living in an apartment, I went to get the mail one day and on my way there I noticed that there were some young men canvassing our neighborhood selling something. I made a mental note to not open the door if they knocked since I didn't want to have to deal with it. Just my luck though, they noticed me walking to the mailbox, and when I came out and headed home, they were waiting for me. They cut my route off and ambushed me. They were near my age and they had a system. They pitched, I said no thank you, they flirted, I tried to escape, they pitched again, I stuck my ground and this went back and forth for maybe 10 minutes, and then I finally got past them, still having held my ground, and feeling pretty good about it, and they asked if they could get a drink. I was getting upset, but I gave them a drink and tried to send them on their way. They kept pushing and pushing, and finally, just to get rid of them because they were making me uncomfortable, I bought the magazine subscription they were selling (after he assured me that I could cancel for a full refund) and they left. I IMMEDIATELY called the number to cancel and get a refund, but I was still left feeling like scum. Why couldn't I just say no and be assertive and send them on their way? Jeremy also was a little frustrated because people were always coming around our apartment selling things and he wanted to know that I could say no to these people so we didn't go broke.

I have been getting better over the years at being more assertive in those situations, but I still avoid them when possible and get nervous and anxious when I know they're coming. The other day, I went to the Carter's store to get some clearance clothes for Mason with a gift that my aunt sent me (thanks Aunt Lynn! I got some cute things!). They were having a big clearance sale, so I was excited to stretch my $20. As soon as I arrived at the store I was uncomfortable though. I was one of only two shoppers, and an attendant right away was on my case. She kept trying to steer me away from the clearance and towards the more expensive items (still on sale, might I add). I finally picked out the clearance items I wanted and I was anxious to pay and leave. At the register, she continued to try and upsell me, but I assured her that I had no intention of going over the $20 gift I had gotten. To my dismay my items only came to $15 something. She immediately directed my attention to some other things on sale that were way more than my limit. At this time, I had a crying baby, and Brenna was trying to shoplift her 3rd or 4th item (not to mention that if she did get out the door, there was the hazard of being hit by a car as well). In utter frustration I grabbed whatever she was telling me was a sale to die for and paid. I spent an extra $16. Of coarse, I just plan on going back to the store and returning the extra items that weren't on clearance, so I will get the money back, but I am left wondering why I can't just be strong! Do I look weak-willed and so sales people automatically are drawn to me? It sure seems that way!

In the future, I am going to try harder to not give in to pushy sales people. I hate having to make another trip just to return things I didn't plan on buying in the first place. I don't want to be rude to these people, just assertive I guess.

Am I the only one this happens to??